Have you tried being productive while also watching Netflix?  It doesn’t work.  A human girl like myself simply cannot write about cake or hiking while watching Schitt’s Creek.  

I haven’t typically been much of a Netflix hound.  That’s not to say I’m not an excellent procrastinator –  I read books and also everything Chrissy Teigen has ever tweeted while pretending to make my lunch for the next day.  It always ends poorly – I burn the quinoa, I end up chopping up 3 of my friends and family for salad, and then the next day I eat french fries at my desk again and everything from my keyboard to my person ends up greasy and angry.

My evenings are typically pretty short. I work till 6.30, pick up Dani and maybe some groceries, and roll home for 7.00 or so.  By the time we’ve had dinner and I’ve done like, 3 to 5 face masks, it’s bed time again.  It’s tough to fit in unloading the dishwasher (which takes like, three minutes tops), let alone going the gym and donating to charity while eating a balanced meal that’s both low carb and environmentally sensitive.

I’m trying to be better, though.  So far, my anti-procrastination, pro-getting things done instead of watching Schitt’s Creek list:

  1. Buy vegetables that keep and don’t take a ton of washing.  We’re talking cabbage, not a head of romaine lettuce that will wilt in T-30 seconds.  I also like kale, cucumbers, and black beans.  This game plan lets me eat a relatively healthy lunch with just some chopping and minimal grocery store involvement.
  2. Establish daily minimums. Have like, three small tasks to do each night. Make them very small, small small small tasks that you will be able to accomplish inside of 15 minutes. Don’t bite off anything too big.  I’m talking washing your lunch dishes, putting away the clothes you were wearing that day, and maybe drinking a glass of wine. Don’t get too wild. Understand who you are.  You will feel good about putting your  sweater away, and you will also feel like a fancy baroness who takes care of her Nice Things.
  3. Don’t Watch Netflix. You goon – just don’t even open your computer. Don’t do it.  There’s nothing but laughs and endless entertainment to be had. Leave your computer under your bed and also – while you’re at it – leave your instagram explore alone.  Instagram explore is a dark and sad hole that exists only to make you wonder why you don’t have 18k people commenting fire emojis on your picture of a fancy smoothie in a bowl (even though smoothies are better in cups with straws [and it makes NO SENSE to line your toppings up on top like that when they’d be better mixed in]).
  4. Assign yourself some reading. Having a book on the go – be it the latest bestseller or some obscure thing you found on your favourite aunt’s downstairs bookshelf – keeps you from the aforementioned instagram explore deep dive. I really find this – a book lends itself to pleasant and engaging lulls that you don’t feel guilty about. You’ll also sleep better than you would after a long sesh of staring one-eye-open one-eye-closed at your phone screen.
  5. Get rid of some of your more useless items.  Less ish to own means less ish to tend to.  You don’t need to precariously stack your favourite jeans every night on top of the eight pairs of weird pants that you’ve always secretly hated.  You also don’t need to play cup tetris with four cracked pickle jars – you can literally just get rid of the pickle jars. Next time you need to make a country chic bouquet you can just buy more pickles. I have never regretted one thing I’ve gotten rid of because I’ve never remembered one thing I’ve gotten rid of.  Donate.  Get rid of things.  Stop feeling guilty about not organizing shoes you haven’t worn since 2012.

You can do it. I, a beautiful and kind gentlewoman from Kelowna, believe in you.  That’s got to mean something, doesn’t it? 

this picture has literally nothing to do with this article

2 thoughts on “ProcrastinaStory

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